


To Give Meaning

by electricteatime



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Boys In Love, Brotzly - Freeform, Christmas fic, Fluff, Gen, M/M, being not so great with feelings, emotional gifts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2019-02-21 20:38:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13151604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/electricteatime/pseuds/electricteatime
Summary: In which sometimes the meaning behind the gift is the most important thing of all, and sometimes Todd gets it all right (for a change.)





	To Give Meaning

**Author's Note:**

> I promised fluffy Christmas Brotzly and here it is. It's not beta'd, my fluff writing is nowhere near as good as my angst writing, and I may be a little too happy off of Christmas wine so I guarantee this isn't up to my usual standards, but it's just a little something I wanted to give to you for the holidays. Something a little softer amongst all the stuff going on right now.
> 
> I love you all, I hope you can enjoy this.

Todd collapses down onto the sofa after the goodbyes have finished and the door has finally closed behind Farah. It’s close to midnight now, Christmas is almost over and he can hear Dirk rattling around the kitchen doing something Todd can only hope isn’t going to end in disaster. They’ve somehow gotten through the day without it so far, he’d like to keep it that way just for once. 

 

It’s the best Christmas he’s had in a long time. If he’s being honest Todd had never much cared for the holiday, not after Amanda had stopped believing in Santa and it had lost that last spark of magic, even less so when he was juggling all the lies he’d been telling to his family. For the last few years he hadn’t even gone home, just dropped in on Amanda and spent the day watching movies and drinking together which had been fine, good actually, but none of those days had anything on today. 

 

Dirk had woken him up at the ungodly hour of 7am by sneaking around and trying to hide presents under the tree he’d insisted on putting up on the first of December. He’d knocked the tree over in the process and Todd had caught him, wide-eyed with tinsel in his hair denying all involvement. He’d let Dirk get as far as blaming Santa before accepting his fate as being awake for the day and going to make coffee, he needed three cups before the sound of Christmas songs stop making him want to bash his head through the wall. An hour later Dirk had forced him into a horrendously garish Christmas jumper and nearly burned the kitchen down making bacon pancakes. Todd had forgiven him almost immediately because he’d been too distracted by the fact that Dirk could  _ sing, _ even more distracted by the smile he’d gotten when he’d joined in, to notice the bacon was starting to smoke. 

 

Farah had turned up just as they’d finished airing out the kitchen and righting the Christmas tree and under her supervision they’d managed to put together something resembling a Christmas dinner while Dirk tried and failed to hide his excitement. It turned out to be contagious, Farah’s smile came easier than usual and Todd didn’t even complain when Dirk held mistletoe over his head and demanded he kiss him, he’d just rolled his eyes and leaned in. 

 

Hobbs and Tina had called after dinner had passed without incident, giving them a slightly drunken rendition of “We Wish You a Merry Christmas.” Tina had reminded Farah that she still needed someone to kiss on New Years Eve to which Farah had blushed and downed her glass of wine in lieu of giving an answer. Hobbs and Dirk complemented each other on their jumper choices and Todd watched the way Dirk lit up when Sherlock had picked out the smaller details and he’d babbled on about the knit pattern as soon as he had a willing ear. 

 

Presents had been… an experience. Todd didn’t think he’d ever seen anyone as excited as Dirk to open presents, even Amanda who had woken him up for eight years by screaming and jumping on his bed hadn’t possessed the level of sheer delight that Dirk manages, grin reaching all the way to his eyes and shining under the Christmas lights. Todd can’t think of anything that could make him enjoy Christmas more and immediately berated himself for being so sappy. Still though, they’d sat around the tree and opened presents in an order that Dirk insisted they stick to but only he seemed to understand and by the time they’d finished Dirk had layered a new purple jacket over his jumper, Farah was balancing the weight of a set of throwing knives and Todd was trying very hard not to keep staring at the collection of Ramones original vinyl pressings that his teenage self would have thought was the coolest thing ever, and his significantly older self still did. Amanda had a present under the tree still but she hadn’t been very specific about when she’d be dropping by, sending a Merry Christmas text with a picture of Vogel wrapped in Christmas lights and promising it would be soon. Oddly enough he didn’t find himself missing her that much, not sat here laughing with Dirk and Farah, knowing she was out enjoying herself with her own found family. 

 

The day had continued with one disastrous game of charades, but mostly with films. Farah pointing out the continuity errors and complaining about the realism of the fight scenes, Dirk providing commentary that became less and less accurate as the hours wore on, and Todd sat between them on the sofa watching them both fondly when they weren’t looking. At some point Dirk wraps an arm around him and Todd leans into his side, their relationship isn’t exactly new, but being close around other people is and even though it’s only Farah that’s with them Todd is surprised by just how much it doesn’t bother him. 

 

There’s still something that’s been hanging over him all day though, and as the hours creep closer towards midnight he feels himself growing more nervous with it. It hits it’s peak when Farah announces she’s leaving for the night, bundling up her gifts and wrapping them both in warm hugs at the door and as soon as it closes behind her Todd feels his heart rate pick up, glancing at Dirk’s back as he makes his way through to the kitchen. 

 

When Dirk comes back he’s holding two mugs, one which he holds out to Todd full of coffee, and one Todd knows is full of tea with more sugar than the numerous candy canes Dirk had been eating that morning. He smiles, but it doesn’t quite meet his eyes and Dirk tilts his head thoughtfully.

 

“Are you alright?” he asks, sinking down next to him and sipping at his tea. For a moment Todd just watches him, trying to work out if he should go through with it or not but the decision is already made really and he sets his coffee down on the table.

 

“I have something for you, actually. Something else, I mean. I don’t know if…” he trails off with a sigh, shaking his head in the face of Dirk’s confused look and reaching down the back of the sofa to pull out an envelope. Dirk’s frown deepens at the sight of it. 

 

“I don’t- Isn’t that one of our files?” he asks, placing his tea down as well when Todd holds it out to him. 

 

“I couldn’t find another envelope to put it in,” he shrugs, rubbing at the back of his neck nervously. “I just- I might have- I don’t want to-” his stuttering through reasoning isn’t making the situation any better and he just waves his hand as a go ahead to open it, unable to make eye contact and wondering if he’s made a huge mistake. 

 

Dirk can’t work out what would have Todd so worried, and it’s making him a little nervous himself. More than that though he’s curious, and he flips the envelope over to open it with more care than he’s opened anything, even the parcel he’d thought may have been a bomb. Somehow this seems to carry more weight. 

 

It’s just sheets of paper at first sight, and he’s even more confused until he pulls them out a little and sees the bold type stamped across the top of the page. There’s nothing he can do for a moment but stare, reading the words but not quite registering them.

 

**Probate and Family Court Department - Change of Name Petition.**

 

“ _ Oh _ ,” is what comes out when he finally opens his mouth to speak. There are tears stinging at his eyes and when he manages to tear his gaze away from the page Todd is watching him with wide eyes, chewing on his lip and fidgeting with his fingers. 

 

“I just thought, you know, after everything… and you never legally got it changed so if you ever had to give a legal name it wouldn’t be  _ your  _ name and I know you hate the other one and-” he’s rambling too much but Dirk is still just staring at him and he hasn’t actually said anything but he looks like he’s going to cry. Todd wonders if he’s hugely miscalculated and panics. “Sorry. Fuck, this was a stupid idea I’ll just-” he doesn’t get chance to finish his sentence because Dirk has pulled him into a hug that’s far too tight and there’s a wetness where he’s hidden his face against his neck. It’s instinct to hug him back, heart still racing but feeling like maybe it’s not as bad as he’d thought. 

 

“I…” Dirk trails off, finally easing off a bit and pulling back to look at him, eyes flickering over Todd’s face as he works out what to say. “You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met,” and Todd would laugh if it wasn’t for the gravity with which he says it, like he’s never been more sure of anything in his life. Todd has never known what to do when faced with Dirk’s unfailing certainty. 

 

“It’s not a big deal. It’s not like… I didn’t have to pay for it or anything. I mean, it will have to be paid for if you want to do it, that is. I just…” voicing his emotions has never been his strong suit, he doesn’t know how to tell Dirk he deserves everything Todd can give him and ten times more. Doesn’t know how to say he just wants him to be happy, that he wants them both to have a chance at a new start. “I love you,” it may be the easiest way to say it but that doesn’t take away from the meaning behind the words. Dirk smiles, it’s watery but still reaches his eyes and he reaches out to cup Todd’s jaw with his hand. 

 

“I love you too,” and maybe Dirk has always found it easier to say but that doesn’t mean he means it any less. Todd knows that, he feels it when Dirk pulls him into a kiss that’s hardly any more than chaste but conveys everything neither of them have the words for right now. 

 

When they pull apart they don’t go far, Dirk rests their heads together and Todd watches his eyes sparkle in the colours of the fairy lights strewn around the apartment. It’s gentle, soft, the kind of moment he wishes he could bottle up and pull out when either of them have bad days so they can remember what it feels like to be so completely loved by another. He can’t though, and he’s more than happy to settle for taking the moment as it is and storing it away to keep for himself. 

 

“I’ll need to find a pen,” is what breaks the silence between them. “I’ve never filled out any real forms before, there’s a lot of pages.” He sounds almost nervous at the prospect and Todd smiles. 

 

“We can do it together. It can’t be harder than a tax return, those things are evil. Not that you’d know,” it’s teasing, Dirk never fills out any paperwork he knows he can get someone else to do. It feels important that he does this one though, Todd wants him to do it. 

 

“Shall we make copies just in case?” it’s an oddly sensible suggestion from Dirk that gives away how important it is to him, Todd just steals another kiss. 

 

“Tomorrow. We’ll make copies tomorrow,” he promises, linking their fingers together and Dirk smiles, bright and happy this time. 

 

“Tomorrow,” he agrees, pulling him back into a hug that’s gentler than the last one but no less warm. “Thank you.” 

 

Todd just closes his eyes and leans into him, thinks that this might just be his favourite place in the world. How about that. “Merry Christmas, Dirk.” 

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me at kieren-fucking-walker where I promise to be less tipsy tomorrow. 
> 
> Happy Holidays no matter what or how you're celebrating. If you enjoyed this I'd absolutely love some words back in exchange for the words I've given, it would make my holidays significantly better. Also feel free to point out any errors if you spot them! 
> 
> Thank you for reading <3


End file.
